Man Suing McDonald’s for $2M for Making Him Fat, Settles for a Lifetime Supply of Free Food

Orlando, Florida | A man who was suing McDonald’s for $2.085 million, accusing the company of being responsible for his obesity, agreed to drop his lawsuit in exchange for free food in the chain’s restaurants for the rest of his life.

53-year old Walter Randell, accused McDonald’s of jeopardizing his health with their greasy, salty food, blaming them for his health problems that include diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity.

He claimed that the fast food restaurants, where he says he used to eat at least ten times a week, even after suffering two heart attacks, did not properly disclose the ingredients of their food and the risks of eating too much.

In a surprising turn of event, he finally agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the largest fast food chain in the world, dropping his complaint in exchange for a McDonald’s McGold Card which gives him an unlimited supply of free McDonald’s food for the rest of his life.

“I spoke with representatives of McDonald’s, and they showed me that I had been misguided,” Mr. Randell told a reporter from the TV station WESH. “They introduced me to people who had lost weight by eating exclusively at Mickey D’s, and explained how to use their menu to its full potential. Now, I can eat all the McDonald’s that I want, and still lose weight. These guys are geniuses!”

Mr. Randell says that he now intends to use his new McGold card and the information provided by the company to lose his excess weight.
This unexpected outcome has shocked most legal experts and reporters who had been following the case, and many of them openly questioned Mr. Randell’s motivation in filing this lawsuit,

“This lawsuit had the potential to put the fast food companies on the run,” said John Banzhaf, a professor at George Washington University Law School. “He abandoned a fight that could have helped millions, in order to get some free cheeseburgers! He says this food is killing him, yet he accepts a lifetime supply of it… This is one of the most ridiculous settlements that I have ever seen.”

In a press release sent to the media this morning, McDonald’s executive vice president and global chief communications officer, President Obama’s former spokesman Robert Gibbs, said he was “satisfied to see that common sense has prevailed” and that this “frivolous lawsuit is finally over”.

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