Come on : I know if we all put our heads together we can come up with a few job ideas for this nice young lady. Nim Murphy is a 27-year-old woman who says that because of her enormous, extremely large “12 double H” breasts she can no longer work and must be on welfare. I hope they make extra-large double H Bonbons for her.
Murphy, from Sydney, Australia says she was forced to quit working as a roadie, doing physical work loading equipment for rock bands due to the pain and discomfort her large lactation stations give her. For the past two and a half years she has been on welfare from the state. To her taxpayer money is the…. breast medicine.
Now if you thought that having titanic tatas was the way to get ahead in life, Murphy says it has been nothing but a medical nightmare. In addition to severe migraine headaches, shoulder and neck pain, her magnificent mammaries gave her a condition in which her spine curves forward. Ugh, that makes us want to vomit. Oh and she has that too:
“About two and a half years ago I had to call in sick because I got out the front door and started vomiting in my front yard just from the pain and so I had to stop working.”
Whenever you get into novelty sized fun bags, people start talking about the dreaded “breast reduction surgery.” However she has been unable to have her gargantuan globes reduced since she is not working has no private health insurance and can’t afford it. Under Australia’s socialized public health care system, she could sign up and wait for years to get the necessary surgery to shave off a few cup sizes. Thanks Australian equivalent of Obama!
I think she needs to turn that frown upside down. We know that having gigantic jugs is really a blessing, not a curse. I think there are plenty of jobs out there for a woman with her “condition.” For instance she could be a model for birthday cards at Spencer’s gifts.
She could sign up to be paid to serve as someone’s human pillow.
That way she can save enough money to… get that breast reduction surgery. However I think once she gets back to work, she will find a new and rewarding life, pulling herself up by her bootstraps or her lengthy bra straps and want to keep those fabulous flapjacks the way they are.
That is why I am reaching out to you the InfamousTribune readers to let poor Miss Murphy know what job opportunities await her with those monster sweater muffins! What do you think she could do for work?