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Man Builds Time Machine So He Can Go Back to Kill Whoever Invented Child Support

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Says Johnathan Munroe about raising $50,000 on GoFundME to build a time machine to go back in time and kill whoever invented child support. Mr. Munroe says he only needs about $20,000 more to start ordering parts, and complete the time machine that he says will basically change baby father’s lives forever, because without meeting

Peyton Manning To Retire From Football To Work At Papa Johns

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DENVER – After winning Super Bowl 50 with his beloved Denver Broncos team against Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers, Peyton Manning has announced that he will officially be retiring from professional football and work full-time at the Papa Johns closest to his home. After not revealing whether or not he would retire from football during post-game interviews following his second Super Bowl victory, Peyton Manning announced his decision Tuesday Afternoon to Broncos management. “I believe it’s the appropriate thing to do” said Manning, “I believe retiring with my last match being a Super Bowl victory is the right…

Martin Shkreli Offers Kanye West $10 Million The Be The Only Owner Of His New Album “The Life of Pablo.”

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Martin Shkreli wants to be the world’s only owner of Kanye West’s new album, “The Life of Pablo.” Hedge fund boss Martin Shkreli is still most notorious for jacking up the price of an AIDS drug over 5,000 percent, though he’s quickly becoming a household name — as well as a nuisance — in the hip-hop world. He bought the one and only copy of a never-before-heard Wu-Tang record for $ 2 million, and he’s now made a much higher offer for Kanye West’s new album, The Life of Pablo, which was just heard by millions, as TIDAL live streamed the…

16 Girls Get Pregnant After A Boy Ejaculated In A Swimming Pool

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FLORIDA – 16 young teenage girls between the age of 13 and 17 years of age have become pregnant after a pool party went terribly wrong, reports the Tallahassee Herald this morning. A simple weekend pool party turned to tragedy when one of the young men (Tommy Coulter) attending the birthday celebration ejaculated in the pool without warning the house guests, accidentally ending up impregnating half of the girls present at the celebration. “I’m glad I didn’t have my swimsuit that day,” remembers Daliah Jennings, present during the celebration. “It was a surprise party to celebrate my 15th birthday,…

Gay Couple Discovers They Are Long Lost Twins!

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A New Jersey couple had the surprise of their life after a DNA test proved the lovers were in fact twin brothers. Both men were induced into going after DNA tests after friends and family members urged them to check out if they had any family ties due to their remarkable resemblance. “We did the tests partly as a joke and to shut up some of our friends who were constantly teasing us about being cousins,” remarks Jason. “Never did I expect to learn we were in fact long lost twins” he admits, visibly disheartened by the news. “The…

Ohio Pregnant Teenager Says Jesus Is The Father Of Her Baby

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OHIO – Latifah Smith-Nabengana, a pregnant 15-year-old teenager from Ohio has claimed that Jesus Christ is the father of her unborn baby. According to her, an angel, during an encounter in July 2015, ‘divinely impregnated’ her while explaining that she she had been chosen to bear a child for Jesus Christ. World News Daily Report quoted her to have said: “He told me that he was a Nephilim, like those described in the Bible. “He told that he had a message from Jesus, He said that I was going to be pregnant, and that I would give birth to…

Man Kicked Out Golden Corral After Eating More Than 50LBS Of Food; Sues For $2-million

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SPRINGFIELD,MA – A man from Massachusetts is suing Golden Corral Corporation for 2 million dollars, for false advertising, after being literally thrown out of one of the chain’s restaurants by the employees, last Thursday. According to witnesses, the 51 year old man who lives on welfare, was expelled from the restaurant after he then spent more than 7 hours on-site, ingesting a quantity of food which has been estimated between 50 and 70 pounds. Despite the fact that the restaurant advertised the buffet as “all-you-can-eat”, the manager of the establishment seems to have  lost patience at some point, telling him that his meal would be free but asking him to leave. The manager’s…

[Video] Drake And Meek Mill Fight; Drake Breaks A Table On Meek Mill!!!

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Drake and Meek mill finally handle the beef in this exclusive video. Must watch for yourself who do you think won?  

Busted: Did Odell Beckham Jr. Get Caught Checking Drake Out At #NBAAllStarTO?

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OBJ Beckham Gets Caught Staring (AGAIN) Star wideout Odell Beckham, Jr. is great at three things: 1) making eye-popping plays on the field 2) sassily man-twerking on camera and 3) getting caught in suspect scenarios that now include NBA All-Star weekend 2016 where he appeared to plot on Drizzy’s Canadian cakes during the celebrity game. Bad angle? Maybe, but the internet internetted anyway. Hit the flip for a look into OBJ’s latest hilariously suspect adventure.  

MORGUE WORKER ARRESTED AFTER GIVING BIRTH TO A DEAD MAN’S BABY 

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Kansas City, Missouri| A 26-year old morgue worker was arrested this morning after a DNA test revealed that her newborn child was the result of a necrophiliac intercourse with a man she was supposed to autopsy. Jennifer Burrows, an assistant pathologist with the Jackson County medical examiner services, is accused of having sex with dozens of corpses over the course of the last two years, a behavior which led the birth of a baby boy on January 7. According to the Kansas City Missouri Police Department, her baby is the son of man who died in a car accident…
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